some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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