Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
