you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
