piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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