I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
