If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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