im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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