I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
