Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize