I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
