You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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