K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
