Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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