We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
