party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
