operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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