I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
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We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
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i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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