The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
