New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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