Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
