Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
