You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We need a shit load of segways right now
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
