I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
