sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
