Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
