Capitaan dildo arrescate!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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