I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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