Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
