I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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