I hate all girls vehemently.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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