You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
