dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Green mimosas i think yes
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
