Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
