you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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