Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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