LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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