Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
