so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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