Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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