Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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