hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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