saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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