Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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