what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
