Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I am midnight drunk by noon
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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