How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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