I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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