I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
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Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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