Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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