Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize