Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
