i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize