This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
