So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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