where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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