You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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