WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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