I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
