you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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