is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
