Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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